You ask me, my dear, what to do with men. And I tell you, very simply: let them be men.
Women like sensible men… like an effeminate…
Gallant, like a good jerk who approaches all women very well… saying everything they want to hear… paying lip service.
Careful with the children, like a woman who just gave birth.
Mediumistic and alert, like a hysterical woman.
Attentive to fashion, like chic gays.
Someone who praises their new clothes and hairdo, as their envious and fake friends do.
Basically, women tend to like in men everything that does not go with the masculine nature or that, even when present, normally indicates pathologies that are of difficult or even impossible (at least in a short and medium term) eradication (the jerkiness of some and the homosexuality of others can only be seen “corrected”, normally, in another existence).
It is very true that modern man must be more intuitive, sensible, loving and kind. But all this must be demanded from the masculine class with the understanding that an average-man of the Earth will never be either as sweet as the talkative neighbor, or as intuitive as the granny who picks up everything in the air. Certain measures must be respected, because they are simply insurmountable: they are structural in the masculine psyche. Therefore, value the small gains and small action of your rude man (being rude is, lamentably, a man’s thing, regardless of all the ideological-sociological blah-blah-blah that says that the masculine rudeness is a mere lack of education: inject a little bit of testosterone in half of the feminine population and you will see the result). If a doggy pees on the right spot and an infant mumbles some wrong words, we celebrate. That is exactly what should be done with men, in their initiatives of finesse. Definitely, women must understand that being delicate, what seems to be so easy and natural to them (because it is part of the feminine nature), is very difficult and exhausting to men. However, when they cannot do “something so simple!”, women tend to think it is about, “it is obvious, I’m not a fool!”, pure ill will and disregard. A man who says good morning with a smile… Fantastic! A man who talks about a new hairdo (the simple fact of noticing it is already surprising to his extremely logic and linear vision, completely focused on the essential and necessary), it is astonishing! And if he brings you breakfast in bed, gives you a bouquet of flowers by surprise, or calls you just to tell he loves you… Oh my friend!… Make sure to lasso this guy… because he is either a very refined bastard,or such a rare specimen on Earth, that you may even question his sexual intentions, without being paranoiac.
In short: do not demand a lot from your man. We are tired of knowing that you are more sensitive and kind, and that we should be more like this. We are also — at least the more sane ones — completely convinced that we have to improve a lot our intuitive, relational and sexual skills (to be more satisfactory and less ejaculatory). But, do believe: we are giving our best. Or do you think that we like to be called “rude”, “beast”, “horse”, “brute”, “insensitive”, “cynical”, “animal” and similar delicacies? We want to be enough to the woman we love, to see her looking at us languishing of passion and devotion, toimagine that she is completely happy for having us as her man and that we are completely sufficient for her woman’s needs. If we do not do more about it, rest assured — I say it on the behalf of the majority, I know that there are exceptions — we are putting our efforts in this way, for a very simple reason: it is our interest to make them happy, loved and reassured, because not being able to do so represents a blow to the male self-esteem, to the concept that we make of our own virility.
Therefore, a little bit of patience and comprehension, from your part, regarding our psychological disabilities, wouldn’t be only a matter of moral virtue, but of relational logic, because, women, I will remind you of something you might have forgotten: we are not women — we are men!
(Text received on May 28, 2003.)
(*1) Roberto, in this message, at times addressed himself to a hypothetical woman in the singular, at other times he spoke to the entire feminine community in the plural, to give more emphasis to one or another concept. I decided to respect the freestyle and leave the text as I originally received it.
(*2) This message makes up a perfect binomial with the one published last Tuesday, “Men’s Crisis,” to which I report to everyone who has not read it. Roberto gives a “rebuke”— using his term — in the men there, so that he can, in today’s message, give a “rebuke” on women. For him, with great lucidity and justice, there are no innocents: only ignorants. He is brilliant, as always, straight forward, almost in a shocking way, perceptive and persuasive, invariably.
(Notes of the Medium)
